Waterboarding Helena


Been a windy day. Some Storm Frank or other passed overhead and blew horizontal rain all over the shire.

The man in the paper-shop commented that it had all started out so well but that after he arrived at work at 6am, all hell had taken over.

I assumed he was discussing the weather and made an attempt at a nod. “Yes, I hate the wind but love the rain” I told him. Not impressed he asked if I needed a receipt, to which I said “no”.

The new book, of course, pounds on and I just need to add some seven thousand more words plus a good few wee edits. A chapter entitled Bravehearts now includes the story of shop-window mannequin Helena Torry.

Interviewed on the Andrew Neil Daily Politics show some years ago Helena’s political agent Renee Slater revealed that she - Renee, not the dummy - had in fact spent time in custody after being charged with electoral fraud. “I was in a police cell for around 6 hours and they wouldn’t let me out until I handed in Helena. It was a sort of prisoner exchange.” Andrew asked “Is the mannequin still in jail and has she been mistreated?” to which Renee replied saying that she thought Helena might be let out soon “I think she might need a change of clothes by now though.”

“I hope she’s not been waterboarded in the meantime” retorted the well-seasoned BBC presenter.

The new book is due out in April next year. Meantime, my previous tome is available for a measly £12.99 from both Amazon and The History Press plus of course Inverurie Whisky Shop which has signed copies.



Location: Aberdeen, UK

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