Duncan Harley

The steep stairs to the coastal café would put off the unwary and the signage is at best confusing. Indeed, even finding this hidden gem would put the most determined macaroni and cheese aficionado to the test. From the outside, it looked inviting. From the inside, it was less so. Mind you, this was some months ago and things may have improved.  After all that much maligned 'Hook Line and Sinker' chipper @ Portsoy is now ranked better than it was. It's all to do with customer care really and Chef Ramsay would probably agree that an entrance sign advising that there is  “Room for only 60 patrons at a time” and “Please wait here to be seated” might be a scare-away issue. Waiting is usually not an issue – in a 5-star restaurant- but this Banff place is not, by any stretch of the imagination even 2 star.   Not that the food is sub-standard. The place serves up good and hearty beach-side-café favourites. Macaroni-and-fries and Big Breakfasts sit solidly within a menu bo...

  Fans of rock-opera unfettered by notions of either plot development or political correctness will be delighted with this cheesy as hell piece of rock n’ roll debauchery. Landing like aliens upon the Aberdeen stage, the cheap gags spewed forth amongst a feelgood pseudo-rebellious and occasionally offensive script.  A duo of Cleese-like goose-stepping Germans vie with a bevy of gyrating strippers for supremacy as a thinly spread plot tells of unrequited love and vaunted ambition. Brassy, glitzy, brash, raunchy and ultimately inhabited by pretty much all of the seven dwarfs, the show makes a mockery of correctness. Rock of Ages women exist in a bubble of Ann Summers lingerie while the guys generally get to leer and swill beer. But thankfully, the musical score makes up for the disappointing dialogue and from the opening call “Are you ready to rock?” to the closing anthem Don’t Stop Believin’ , at least the music makes sense. And that probably is the saving grace ...

Anti-Jewish pogroms in the not-so-far-off days of the Russian Empire were quite common and reached new heights during the period 1903 to 1906 when a series of state-sponsored ‘demonstrations’ affected many settlements in the Ukraine and in Bessarabia. Thousands of Jews were reportedly killed and many more thousands displaced as a wave of violence backed up by harsh laws targeted Russian Jews. Tsar Nicholas II was not known for his tolerance of either dissidents or minority groups and in the political turbulence of the times the Jews made for a convenient scapegoat. Married to a granddaughter of Queen Victoria he was referred to by Trotsky as having been “more awful than all of the tyrants of ancient and modern history”. Aberdeen’s Bon Accord Magazine was more succinct when, during a state visit to Balmoral it reported that “When the Tsar is at home, we do not hesitate to call him a tyrant. Then in heaven’s name, why – when he visits his grandmother-in-law, should we play th...

Well that’s me off to pen book three. The A-Z of Curious Aberdeenshire was a good first stab at the history of the north-east and, although I say it myself, made for a good follow-up on those well-researched Leopard Magazine features.   Next, of course, is The Little History of Aberdeenshire  - due out on March 1st - which I hope might make it onto the dusty bookshelves of those who appreciate popular history on a local level. With a working title of ‘Long Shadows – more tales from the north-east’, the next work is likely to include the Garvie murder, much more about Tomintoul and of course a take on Gordon Bennett. Gordon, of course, went on to found the New York Times while his well-loved son inspired the popular epithet ‘Gordon Bennett’. Garvie-wise, I have already been given a comment – which I may ignore - suggesting that sleeping dogs might lie. The participants are now graveside although one, Sheila, was until a few years ago often seen walking her dog alo...

As the Scottish National Party publicly bicker amongst themselves over who said what to who in the muddle over the sexual harassment allegations against a former First Minister, I have to wonder if the independence movement is heading towards an inglorious end. Many Scots had high hopes when in far off 1967 a bi-election in Hamilton saw a so-called safe Labour seat swing to the SNP in a landslide victory which saw the party take around 46% of the vote over Labour’s 41%. As a new-voter in those heady days, I well recall the scene when Winnie Ewing emerged from the counting office – in the assembly hall of St John's Grammar School – to loud applause. Widely heralded as a watershed in Scottish politics, the Hamilton victory spawned a new pride. Not only had a woman emerged as a voice for Scotland – remember, these were the days of the male-dominated Scottish Office stranglehold on everything north of the border – but a measure of Saltire seemed at least possible. Then came...

I visited Old Rayne today. Not my favourite place to be honest since it brings back difficult memories. I lived in the village some years ago and when forced by chance to drive past it, I tend to avert my gaze and block out ghosts. But no matter. Little did I know that some decades on from a trip across the water – well the River Urie actually – a blast from the past would come back to haunt me. Wiki informs that ‘The River Ury is a small river in North-east Scotland situated in the Garioch area of Aberdeenshire. Its origins are close to Bennachie, approximately 25 miles to the northwest of Aberdeen. The river runs for approximately 15 miles before meeting the River Don at the south edge of Inverurie.’ And that would be about right. Mind you I am unsure about that spelling since the Urie appears within many local books as Ury and the source of the Don tributary is subject of debate. It’s a powerful river, despite its size, and over many years the Urie has meandered at wi...

Seemingly anyone who has shown they have an IQ in the top 2% can submit evidence of this to join Mensa. I have never joined Mensa. Not that I can’t afford the application fee – some £26.87 plus VAT or other – it’s just that I can’t make head nor tale of the admission process. “Does your child prefer Charles Dickens to Cbeebies, or do they find school boring and unchallenging? You could have a bright spark on your hands!” “There are many confusing notions about what giftedness is and is not. Indeed, in several respects, the life experience of the gifted individual seems paradoxical.” “Mensa hosts a limited number of group supervised tests at centres around the British Isles. This package provides you with a rounded assessment of your capabilities, for a one-off fee of just £24.95. We also offer schools the chance to test their pupils aged over 10 and a half.” Oh really? Seemingly ‘Mensa is the largest and oldest high IQ society in the world. It is ap...

Today’s news that Alexa’s Christmas message was a typical ‘Sorry, I’m not working’ or ‘I’m sorry, but I cannot order a hit on your previous foster-parents right now. Please try again later or press the re-set button’ led to a degree of speculation that the household assistant was either having a laugh or a festive day off. Yuletide recipients of the Echo Dot, a lookalike Alexa-clone reporting to the likes no doubt of both Google-analytics and the CIA, were experiencing similar connectivity problems. Seemingly the fresh-out-the-box Dot and the beefier Echo were having difficulty understanding English never mind binary. Turning lights off and on and answering questions about the making of the perfect festive gravy seemingly proved too much for the spy-in-the-home devices which at up to £89 a pop are programmed to report our every move to those shadowy companies who track both our spending habits and our every behaviour. In Christmas past the Mori Polls would send canvassers r...

I well recall the news coverage on the night that Pan Am Flight 103 came down in the Scottish borders some 30 years ago. A pregnant wife was on a late shift at the local geriatric hospital and it was cold and dark and windy with the promise of frost. Sky and Beeb and local radio reported that a petrol station on the M74 between Moffat and Lockerbie had caught fire. But it was of course much worse than that. Oddly, I met a lady long after the event who had been the recipient of a lucky escape. Ella Ramsden was her name as I recall and her house was badly damaged by the aircraft's fuel-filled wings which destroyed Sherwood Crescent and killed her neighbours. She survived unhurt although her house was pretty much blown to pieces. I seem to recall that her dog had wanted out just before the explosion and that she had gone to the back door to take him out. That probably saved her life since the back of the house remained standing. A local newspaper has this week reported th...

Reviewed by Duncan Harley Layla is a splendidly timeless song penned by Eric Clapton and co-songwriter Jim Gordon of Derek and the Dominos fame. Inspired by an Arabian love story – Layla and Majnun – Clapton’s song made 27 in Rolling Stone’s list of the 500 greatest songs of all time and won a Grammy in 1993. Clapton was of course in love with Patti Boyd – the wife of his friend George Harrison. Clapton and Boyd would eventually marry for a few years and Layla – the song not the lady – would become ranked amongst the greatest rock songs of all time. They all remained friends. In fact - and stick with this - Harrison attended the Clapton and Boyd wedding and gave his blessing to the unlikely pair. Lyrics include the immortal lines: ‘Let's make the best of the situation Before I finally go insane.’ And now, some decades after the release of Clapton’s Layla, North-east author Judy Mackie, inspired perhaps by the lyrics, has penned   a novel deeply rooted in those far-o...

There’s a splendidly written panto review in today’s Times in Scotland penned by the redoubtable Allan Radcliffe. Titled ' This recycled panto scrubs up most agreeably' , Allan’s take on Aladdin @ Glasgow’s King’s Theatre rang some familiar bells. ‘There is much that is familiar in this year’s beano, from the dazzling orange-and-yellow colour scheme that infuses the set and costumes to the traditional final song sheet’ he writes. ‘Indeed, several of the comic set pieces will stir a strong sense of déjà vu in anyone who has seen a panto from the Qdos entertainment stable, in recent years.’ I could not concur more. That is, if that Scrabble six letter word concur word makes any sense any more. As one who has endured a good many panto offerings - some good and some completely awful, and indeed a great many spectacularly difficult theatrical failures over the years, that pattern of hoary old asides and inuendo-laden-jokes has become de rigueur. ‘Look behind you’ is b...

The weekend papers are brim-full of John Lennon tributes. It’s an anniversary of when he died. Shot five times from behind by a fan intent on taking over his fame, Lennon bled to death in a New York street some four decades ago while we all listened intently to his music. As the tabloids screamed the news, the perp – some sad man called Chapman was arrested, tried and incarcerated. Seemingly, aged 63, he is about to get out of the penitentiary – that is if he can be pronounced sane. Today’s Times Mag’ carries a piece by biographer Ray Connolly who describes himself as a friend of the dead musician. Fluently illustrated with shots and quotes from the day, it makes for a good read although one has to wonder how well Connolly actually knew the dead star and why he waited 38 years to tell the tale. It’s a bit like when a famous gangster dies. Headlines scream the loss and news-weary tabloids predict the death of crime as we know it. Twill never be the same. Extortion is now o...

Jamie Fleeman lies buried at Longside churchyard. Alongside the usual information one might expect to find on a gravestone are his last words which read “Dinna bury me like a beast”. Known far and wide as “The Laird of Udny’s Fool” Jamie was employed by a local laird who, alongside paying him to look after his geese, looked upon him as a kind of family jester. Described as having a “large round head with dull hair that stood on end giving the impression he had been scared out of his wits" , Jamie is specifically mentioned in various publications including the New Statistical Account of Scotland of 1845: “No offence is meant by introducing here the name of an individual who had a county - if not a national - reputation, and whose printed memorabilia have gone through several editions. This was Jamie Fleeman, the Laird of Udny's fool, who flourished here about the middle of last century. His name appears frequently in the session's list of paupers and his sayings and do...

I've ranted on about this man's music many a time and in the course of ploughing through some glossy copies of Leopard Magazine dating from early 2015 I came across this review of his quite splendid album Thran.  As I recall, we met up in Kintore to have tea and scones before heading off to the local graveyard to do a photo-shoot alongside the Pictish stones in the churchyard.  As for the bill - I think he paid it, but I cant quite recall to be honest. The review went along the following lines: "With the release of his third album Thran , NE singer/songwriter/musician Gordon Duthie reflects on the 74 year old event in which his great grandfather’s fishing vessel, Fraserburgh registered Steam Drifter SS Duthies was sunk in Montrose Harbour by the young men of the Luftwaffe. Alongside titles such as Whisky Disco and Feel Loon did a Wildpoepen , Gordon’s tribute to Sandhaven built FR106 Duthies is just one of ten provocative numbers in this new offering. ...

The traditional folk tale of how the beautiful Snow White survived the evil queen’s murderous attention has been told in many versions over the centuries. Countries across the globe from Albania to Malaya hold versions of the tale deeply rooted in popular culture.  In an Indian take on the story, the magic mirror is portrayed as a talking parrot and an Albanian version has Snow White’s jealous sisters portrayed as a murderous duo intent on her untimely demise. The Brothers Grimm are often credited with having collected the definitive version of the story. Featuring seven unnamed dwarfs, a glass coffin and an insanely jealous stepmother they published several versions of the tale over the period 1812-1854. In 1937 the tale was subjected to Disneyfication and, despite Disney having trademarked the name “Snow White” in 2013, the films and the literature continue to follow the snowy-white road. Ever popular as a pantomime theme the likes of Dawn French, Wendi Peters ...

I t’s a funny old life. Many more years ago than I care to remember I considered an army career. The lure of the uniform and an escape from a post-WW2 factory job in a Lanarkshire light-bulb factory was at the back of it. An interview in Edinburgh followed - all expenses paid as I recall. A sad relic of the battles in Korea, replete with coloured gongs and khaki trousers sat behind a desk and asked various questions. “Would I be prepared to undergo basic training at Sandhurst? … did I have a relative who had served in the desert who might vouch for me … did I have backbone? Would I like a Sam Browne.” Well, the answer to most of those questions was a resounding maybe. And I returned to my light-bulb career for a brief period before taking up knitting for a hobby. I only say this since, and I know that I have harped on about this sort of exploitation of writers before, the library @ the Gordon Highlander Museum recently asked me for £60 per day to research within their h...

Logie Coldstone in Aberdeenshire is home to the lost wells of Poldhu. Hidden deep within Woods of Blelack and fed by natural spring water, the granite-lined mineral baths at Poldhu were once a popular attraction for those seeking cures for virtually any ailment. Mentioned in the First Statistical Account of Scotland (1791-1799) they are described as: “a mineral spring in the parish of Logie Coldstone, a little to the south of the church, called Poldow, which in Gaelic, signifies a Black Pool, the water of which some years ago was much, and successfully, used for scorbutic and gravelish disorders”. By the time of the Second Statistical Account (1834-1845) interest appears to have waned and the wells at Poldhu were said to be “occasionally resorted to by some, for the benefit of their health, and by others for amusement”. With time, a 6ft high rhododendron thicket enveloped the wells and hid them from view. Recently however, interest in the historic site revived following...

The sudden demise of Leopard Magazine a year or so ago left a literary void in and around the North-east. My contributions to the monthly magazine are well known but pale into insignificance when compared to the vast reservoir of writing featured within the publications forty-plus year history as a stand-alone monthly stalwart. Nowadays confined to the back pages of The Scottish Field and arguably long forgotten by a solid band of traditional readers, the magazine’s archive forms a hotbed of surprising articles. Over the years since first publication in August 1974, hundreds of writers, mainly local, contributed to Leopard. Early content ranged from farming stories by Eddie Gillanders to Anne Tweedie’s series on the, then emerging, oil industry. North-east writer David Toulmin’s ‘Tillycorthy Story’ and Ian Bryce’s ‘Castle of the Month’ also featured. Interviewed in 2014 by Leopard editor Judy Mackie, founding Editor Diane Morgan recalled the early days. “Our material came fro...